8 Comments
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Sage Herrin's avatar

Woooowwww 🔥

Charity Whan's avatar

Thank you, Sage!!!

Michael J Gillette's avatar

This is like a cacophony of zingers for the senses. I can feel it, see it, smell it, hear it... And the analogue to the human experience is gorgeous. Not a static, statue of perfection and polish...a collection of 'screws and replacement parts acquired one emergency at a time and carrying shapes of previous panels, wounds painted over.' Your brilliance on full display, Charity. If nobody told you today, you are doing exactly what you were 1000% designed to do.

Charity Whan's avatar

Michael, dear, I think perhaps you could give us all a class on how to lift the spirit, ‘cause you are a master. Thank you! I find the more I lean into a creative life, the more my mind sees life in the everyday. Things most of us don’t see because many of us aren’t keen to look beyond. It might also help that I’ve been reading a lot of Ginsberg lately so he’s got my mind working a bit differently lol.

I’ll Stop Writing Poetry's avatar

Love the last two stanzas, especially this: “leave only teeth marks in the grass,/where something briefly clung/to permanence.”

Charity Whan's avatar

Thank you! 🙏 You know I had something else where “teeth marks” was at first. Something like “impressions” I think. But I wanted it to feel more visceral.

I’ll Stop Writing Poetry's avatar

Teeth marks is very visceral and gives the whole poem a sort feral undercurrent, zombie-ish, old, even sad like dentures

Charity Whan's avatar

Oh I love that take! Dentures, yes!